Dating Casper the Ghost

The modern dating scene is fast-paced, turbulent, and more full of choices than ever before. We have this incredible ability to communicate without having to actually talk to or look at the person.

This makes it so much easier to be vague and non-committal when it comes to dating. The phrase “ghosting” nicely captures the phenomenon when a romantic interest suddenly stops talking to you, leaving you confused and wondering what you did wrong. You would be hard-pressed to find someone who hasn’t been ‘ghosted’ or done the ‘ghosting’. 1 in 3 Millennials to be precise.

It’s not that we do it to be nasty. Deep down, we all want to be honest, to be compassionate, to connect. But it does appear to be an easier option than confronting someone with the inconvenient truth that you’re no longer interested. No wonder they call us the snowflake generation.

Ghosting has become so ingrained in the modern dating landscape that our expectations are so low when meeting new people. We treat each other as if we are disposable and cutting someone off when you feel like it is standard procedure.

If you’re on the receiving end, it’s inevitable to search for closure, for an explanation and to overthink everything you could have done differently. The butterflies turn to gut punches out of nowhere, and it sucks. But amongst all the ambiguities and confusion, one thing’s for sure. Closure comes from within. If you wait for a ghost to bring you closure, you may be waiting a while. A person who ghosts you isn’t worth your while anyway.

And if you’re the ghost, just grow up and do the decent thing. It’ll save someone a hell of a lot of trouble.

Let’s re-humanize modern dating and leave the ghosts to Halloween. Whether you’re seeing them across the dinner table or through a screen, remember that we are all just human beings trying to figure this “life” thing out.