SituationSH*TS

Let’s talk about situationships. Orrr situation-sh*ts, as I like to call them.

I take it you are either here because you thought, “ooo, what is a situationship?” OR you’re in one and you don’t know what the flying f*ck to do. Hunny, you and me BOTH, but let’s try and un-muddle the situation-sh*t that you’ve been swindled into together, shall we?

For the benefit of those curious little cats, I will explain what a situationship is. In a nutshell it is when you are basically in a relationship BUT there is no label to it. You’re doing all the things a couple should or would be doing, but you’re still single. It’s the fuzzy space in between more than friends, but less than a relationship.

For whatever reason you’re here reading this, I know you’re ALL thinking: “why in the hell would I want that?!” Simply put, you don’t want that.

I could just leave this diary entry there and let you fend for yourself but I have a personal vendetta with situationships. So grab yourself a coffee and get comfy, I will continue…

A situationship isn’t something you go out looking for. It just kind of happens when you’re not looking. One minute you’re getting to know someone and everything is moving in the right direction and then the next thing you know, you’re 6 months down the line, waxing their back but your Facebook relationship status still shows ‘single’.

Now if the overspilling wax strip in your hand wasn’t the thing to make you realise you’re up sh*ts creek, then let me be the one to tell you. That, my love, is a relationship task and this person in front of you has not unlocked that level in the game of your relationship yet. Until you are their partner, officially, put the wax DOWNNNNN.

Here are a list of other ‘things’ you should NOT be doing if they haven’t put a ring on it:

- Go for a roast on a Sunday.
- Buy them xmas gifts, or any gifts for that matter. Save your money.
- Meet each others families. BIG emphasis on parents.
- Make them a packed lunch.
- Plan BIG trips.
- Improve their skincare. I feel like I need to explain myself with this one; this is for the ladies. Under NO circumstance should you help improve their skincare routine until they have wifed you off. Why would you help him look after himself better, even make himself more attractive, for him to then ditch ya and impress other women? Sorry, this is a no no.

I could go on forever, but I feel like you get the jist.

So let me tell you how to get out of the situationsh*t. You ready? Ask them where they see the relationship going. That’s it. Their answer will be everything you need to know.

If by asking the question they then tell you how they truly feel and they say that they want a relationship with you, then whoop-de-f*cking-do, congrats!

Butttttttt -

If they answer with any of the following: “I’m not ready for a relationship yet”, “I’ve not got time for a relationship”, “I don’t think I’m at that stage yet”, “I want to go travelling”, then RUN.

Well, don’t quite literally run, take their answer and go and have a think. Do you want to continue the way things are going? Are you happy to be in a relationship without the label? This is all down to you and what you are comfortable with.

But one thing I can promise you is if you’re more than 4 months down the line and they still ‘don’t know if they want a relationship’ then they most probably won’t end up in a relationship with you.

It's not that they don’t want a relationship right now, it’s that they just don’t want a relationship with YOU.

Ouch, that hurt to read, didn’t it? It hurt me to write it, but it’s the harsh truth and if I’m nothing else, I am always honest…

You have even probably started falling for this person and I’m not going to lie, it is going to hurt like a motherf*cker walking away. Even though you didn’t have a label, you were in a relationship. So do not diminish what you’re feeling, it is valid.

So to conclude, I can’t make you walk away from this situationship, no matter how much I want to reach through the screen and grab ya. This will be something you need to decide to do on your own. But one thing to bear in mind when assessing the situation(sh*t); is this fulfilling everything I am looking for?

Remember your worth x